


Dean and Cas at the Dentist

by deaneatscake



Series: codas and stuff [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: And Dentists, Episode: s13e02 The Rising Son, Fluff, M/M, inspired by:, just pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 22:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12617184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deaneatscake/pseuds/deaneatscake
Summary: Because after 13x02 we all know that Dean went to the dentist with Cas, and here's why. 100% true, 100% happened.(not technically a coda, but oh well)





	Dean and Cas at the Dentist

Of all the things that had been in Dean’s mind when Cas asked him for help with an “urgent problem”, this hadn’t been it. His mind had supplied him with sinful fantasies almost instantly (he should definitely watch more porn – or less, depending on how you look at it) or, more realistically, he figured that Cas needed help to locate a very specific plant for his collection (yeah, don’t ask).

But not – _this_.

“You what now?” Dean asks for what’s probably the third time.

“I need to get my teeth cleaned,” Cas explains with the patience of a saint. “I tried to do it myself, but somehow – well, my grace can only do very specific jobs. So if I don’t know exactly where the tartar is, I can’t get rid of it, and it doesn’t hurt or something, so I’m at an impasse. Also, grace in my mouth makes me gag.”

“It makes you gag,” Dean repeats tonelessly.

Cas shrugs it off. “Apparently, I have a very big gag reflex. And I can’t seem to get rid of it.”

“Now that’s a shame,” Dean responses before his mind is able to catch up.

He really, really should watch more porn and think less of Cas in various state of undress and with definitely  _no_ existent gag reflex.

Thankfully, the reference flies right over Cas’ head. “Yes, it is,” he agrees eagerly, “Because otherwise, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

“Yeah, so now – now you want what? Go to the dentist? That shit’s expensive, man.”

“It’s not like it’s your money,” Cas points out. “And I would go alone, but I figured I need a fake ID and also I’ve never made a doctor’s appointment before, so I would probably stick out and I know you don’t like that –”

“Oh my God.”

Dean groans. Truth is, he really doesn’t want to visit  _a fucking dentist_ with Cas. If he ever let his imagination run away, his free days were filled with Netflix and a few beer (and quite a bit of fooling around), but certainly not with holding Cas’ hand on a treatment couch.

Okay, the hand holding part would be great but the rest – not so much. But the way Cas looks at him with his puppy dog eyes – he learned that shit from Sam, he swears – he can’t say no, can he?

“Fine,” Dean grumbles. “But I’m going to show you how to make your own ID so you can do it alone next time.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas smiles –

and next thing Dean knows he makes a teeth cleaning appointment for the 40-year-old single man  Jimmy Fox (“That’s not a last name, Cas.” - “Why not?” - “…. Fine.”) with a premium health insurance. Jesus.

If the receptionist has any questions about why it’s Dean who makes the appointment, she thankfully doesn’t voice them, and Sandra, as the small name tag on her breast pocket says, only looks _a little_ apprehensive when they show up together.

“I’m going to need your health insurance cards,” she says.

“Um, just one,” Dean corrects her while Cas searches for the card out of the pockets of his trench coat.

“Oh,” she says and Dean tries his best to suppress a groan. “Well, then just the one, please.”

Cas, thankfully, finally finds the card to put them out of their misery. With Sandra typing the info furiously into the system, they’re standing there rather awkwardly for a minute until she gives them their card back. Dean lets out a tiny breath when he realizes that the card worked; there’s a difference between stolen credit cards in a dingy gas station and the local dentist.

“Please take a seat. The doctor will be there shortly,” she smiles at them. Dean tries his best to smile back while simultaneously navigating Cas into the small waiting room. One older man is already sitting inside, engrossed in what seems to be a motorcycle magazine. There’s a bunch of other magazines on a small table and Dean picks up a random one.

“Here,” he says and hands it to Cas, “Read this and wait.”

“You’re the one interested in home decor, Dean.” The old man snickers behind his magazine. God, this was a mistake.

“I’m not,” Dean retorts, albeit not very intelligently, “And now sit down.”

Cas does as he’s told and Dean sinks down onto the seat next to him, pulling out his phone. Theoretically, they’re 3 minutes late for the appointment but it’s not like they kept the doctor waiting, so Dean considers it a success.

“I told you we should have left earlier,” Cas says while browsing through the magazine.

“No, you didn’t,” Dean corrects him. “You said that we’re probably going to be late no matter what because I’m too proud to ask for directions.”

“Pride  _is_ a sin, you know.”

“Yeah, like we care about sin.” The man is watching them now unapologetic and Dean decides it’s better if they don’t continue this conversation. He grabs another magazine blindly – it’s a brides magazine which definitely isn’t his top choice but well, they’re not going to be here long anyway.  Hopefully.

They browse through the magazine in silence for the next few minutes until Cas sighs and puts his magazine away. “This is ridiculous,” he says, “Why do we have to wait so much?”

A celestial being, stationed for 2000 years to watch the Earth solemnly, is getting bored in the waiting room of a dentist. Figures. “I don’t know,” Dean says. “He’s probably busy.”

“Well, we’re busy too, and we still managed to show up on time. Almost,” he adds before he casts a glance at the magazine Dean is holding in his hands. “I didn’t know you were preparing for a wedding.”

“You know damn well I don’t,” Dean scowls. The old man is chuckling again.  _Jesus_. “You know what, I’m going to –”

“Mr. Fox?” Sandra appears in the doorway. “Dr. Thide is ready to let you in.”

“Thank God.” Dean all but throws the magazine away and puts a hand on Cas’ shoulder to drag him up.

The receptionist looks at them funnily. “You know you can just wait here, Mr. –”

“Winchester,” Dean says. “And yeah, I know, but my – um, well, he’s scared. Bad phobia. Really bad. Better if I’m with him.”

“Dean, I think I can –”

The man is still watching them.  He’s probably going to kill him if he’s forced to keep sitting here, Dean thinks. “No you can’t,” he says shortly. “Now let’s go.” His hand is still on Cas’ shoulder and he hastily drops it before gesturing Cas to lead the way.

This day is going to kill him.

 

The office is brightly lit and smells overwhelmingly of disinfectant, fear, and regret; Dr. Thide is already in and scribbling something on a notepad. If she’s surprised to see two people in there, she doesn’t let it on, instead opting to shake Cas’ hand first before leading him to the dentist’s chair.

There’s a small, nauseatingly green chair in the corner of the room and Dean sits down on it, nervously fumbling with his hands. Hopefully, this will only take a few minutes but knowing Cas, this will probably turn out as a disaster.

“So, what can I do for you today?” the doctor asks with a smile. Cas looks at Dean expectantly and doesn’t comment.

“Um, just a teeth cleaning,” Dean explains after a few seconds of awkward silence. Dr. Thide turns around, her face falling a bit.

“I see,” she says. “Mr. Fox,” – God, if he’s going to have to listen to this stupid name anymore, he doesn’t know what – “You haven’t been here before though so I would like to take a general look at your teeth if that’s okay.”

“Oh, his teeth are great, just dandy. Really, just cleaning.”

Cas frowns. “I’m not sure if that’s the case, Dean, as I said if I don’t feel any pain –”

“You often don’t feel any pain until it’s basically too late,” she confirms. “So I’d really feel better if I could take a look. When was the last time you were at the dentist?”

“Um –”

Dean sighs.  _Jesus, this was a mistake_. He doesn’t even remember if he gave fake Jimmy Fox extensive fake medical records or not.

“9… years ago?” Cas finally tries. Dr. Thide’s eyes widen. He coughs nervously when he realizes that no, this wasn’t the answer the doctor was expecting – albeit it had probably been true. It’s not like angels had the need to go for regular check-ups except, apparently, dentist appointments.

“We  _are_  going to take a look at that,” Dr. Thide decides and positions herself next to Cas. “Now open your mouth and just relax, okay?”

Cas does as he’s told and hums in agreement. Dean’s unsure what he’s supposed to do now – technically, his deed here is done but it’s not like he can just walk out, Cas still needs a ride and they’re in the middle of nowhere. Playing with his phone also seems kind of rude so he just stares in fascination how the doctor works her magic while drops of drool slowly work her way down Cas’ chin (which is  _so not sexy, Dean, get it together, it’s not like he has a dick in his mouth_ ).

But because this is Cas, the peace and quiet only last for a mere minute until Cas starts to gag. “Everything’s okay, just keep breathing,” the doctor says which is all kinds of funny because technically, Cas doesn’t fucking  _need_  to breathe. He’s tempted to tell her as much because he lost his patience approximately the minute Cas initially asked him to do this but Cas continuing to sound like a choking animal distracts him from that.

Dr. Thide seems to sense Cas’ distress because she leans back and smiles brightly at him. “Okay, we’re going to take a little break here, but so far all of your teeth look good. Awesome, even. I can’t believe you haven’t been to a dentist in 9 years. Brushing your teeth like a champ, eh?”

“I never brush my teeth,” Cas deadpans.

Dean wants to die. “Figure of speech,” he hurries to say. “It’s just so much fun to brush your teeth it doesn’t seem like work for this little ball of sunshine.”

“Well, you certainly must know,” she says, whatever that means. “Okay, you’re ready to go again?” Cas shrugs.

The thing is,  _no_ , he’s not ready to go again. He grabs the armrest until his knuckles are white and gags and coughs and sheds a few tears and Jesus, they’re not even doing what they’re here for yet. Dr. Thide seems at a loss when she leans back for the second time.

“You’d rather have some meds?” she asks.

“I doubt these will do anything,” Cas says.

“Oh trust me, I’ve got some strong stuff. You’ll be in heaven.” Dean prays silently that Cas won’t retort  _You know I’m actually from there, isn’t all that cool_ , and thankfully he doesn’t.

Instead, Cas insists: “I can do this. I’m sorry. I have a very big gag reflex, I can’t help it.”

Dean contemplates killing the dentist so they’re able to leave.

“Dean was very disappointed to find that out.”

Okay, maybe he’s going to kill Cas instead, yeah.

Dr. Thide snorts with barely contained laughter. “I see,” she winks. “If you want, there are actually some tips on how to lessen your gag reflex, maybe that could help both of you.”

This day is the worst. “OKAY, any time now,” he says way louder than necessary and gestures to Cas’ still slightly open mouth. “Just – keep going, will ya? I suppose we don’t have all day.”

“Dean,” Cas says softly. “Would you mind keeping me company?”

“What do you think I’m doing here, Ca – Jimmy?” God, this is all just messing with his head.

“No, I mean – you know.”

“You can put the chair on the other side, I don’t mind,” Dr. Thide not very helpfully supplies. “That way you can hold his hand and we’re thankfully going to get through all of this. You’re sure you don’t want something?”

“As I said, I doubt these will do anything. I’m – my – my – metabolism is very… fast?” What a nice and completely stupid code for  _I’m an angel, you ass_ , Dean thinks. He could probably swallow a whole pharmacy and still be awake enough to puke all over the dentist. With a sigh, he pulls his chair all the way up to Cas.

“Better?” he asks, reluctantly taking Cas’ hand in his. Cas lets out a deep breath and nods. “Okay, you can start again.”

The rest of the examination proceeds without complication; Cas still gags, but stroking his hand helps him take off the edge (Dean is never, ever going to admit doing this to anyone). Since his teeth are otherwise in perfect condition, that part of the procedure is over quite quickly after that.

Dean still doesn’t let go of Cas’ hand when Dr. Thide leans back and looks for her cleaning tool. “See, that wasn’t so bad,” he says.

“This was the worst,” Cas whines. “It hurt. And I felt like I have to puke. The last time I felt like this was when I got ban – when I was in the hospital. I  _hate_  feeling sick, Dean.”

“Yeah well,  _you_  wanted to do this. I still believe you can’t – you  _know_.”

“There, there, we’re almost done,” Dr. Thide says and holds up the small tool. “This is probably going to be really quick. Just make sure you take good care of your husband after that.”

“He’s not –”

“We’re not married,” Cas finishes.

She looks surprised. “Oh. I could have figured, you don’t actually have any rings, but – I’m sorry. You really act like a married couple, though.”

Dean’s brain short-circuits. This wasn’t – this isn’t – they’re not – God, why do bad things always happen to him, he’s a good person, he may not pay his taxes but he fucking hunts monsters on a daily basis, he doesn’t  _deserve_  this –

“No way I would marry such a crybaby,” he finally sputters because it’s the first thing that comes to his mind, with his hand still gripping Cas’ tight.

“And I wouldn’t want to marry someone who doesn’t know that his phone has a better map than the 20-year-old roads in his head,” Cas retorts which okay, fine, he probably deserved that. (Who would put fucking  _maps_  on a phone, though? The screen is tiny.)

Dr. Thide just shakes her head. “You lot are adorable,” she decides and stifles Cas’ protests with a short  _Open your mouth_ , yes, like this, and Dean tries his best not to blush or think about Cas and marriage and open mouths and h _ow much he would love to drive the cleaning tool into his heart right now_.

The teeth cleaning actually doesn’t take more than a couple minutes but Cas whines through the whole procedure. When the dentist stops for a moment to wipe up a particularly big drop of drool he uses it to pipe up: “This is horrible. It’s even worse than when I tried it myself. My teeth feel like they’re in the washing machine and dryer  _at once_.”

“You never used a washing machine  _in your life._ ”

Cas growls but doesn’t answer because the procedure resumes. Every now and then he almost crushes Dean’s hand that’s still firmly in his grasp but overall, it’s way better than Dean had imagined.

“Alright, we’re done,” she says before long and Dean lets out a huge sigh. “All cleaned up, ready to go. Rinse your mouth with this, please.”

“Great,” Dean sighs and finally – sadly – lets go of Cas’ hand. “You alright there, champ?”

“Yes,” Cas says although it sounds a lot more like  _shmesh_  because he’s busy spitting out whatever the dentist just handed him.

Although it’s probably very much too late for this, Dean settles for a very manly and super not husband-y pat on the back as a reward for Cas behaving. “We should celebrate this with super greasy burgers,” he says and grins at Dr. Thide.

She rolls her eyes as she scribbles something into her notepad. “I’d advise against it, but as soon as you’re out here I can’t change it anyway,” she says. “Pleasure to meet you, by the way, I hope you don’t wait 9 years for your next appointment.”

“I don’t think I will,” Cas says while still tentatively licking his teeth with his tongue. “Regular teeth cleaning is important. Thank you very much.”

They shake hands and are out of the office before they know it. The car is parked in the small parking lot in front of the building and when they slide into their respective seats, Cas turns around to Dean.

“Thank you very much,” he says again, this time solely to him. “This meant very much to me.”

“Yeah well, I fucking hope so,” Dean grumbles, trying to hide a smile. “The doctor totally thought we were – you know.”

“Married,” Cas nods.

“No, not just – you know what, forget it, Cas. We’re just never going to talk about this again, okay?”

Cas smiles. “Until next time.”

“Yeah,  _forget it,_ ” he reinforces his statement.

“I won’t forget it,” Cas says and he looks so earnest that Dean has to swallow hard.

“Come on, Cas, let’s just get a few super greasy burgers and head back to the bunker,” he says while simultaneously trying to calculate when he’d be able to drag Cas back to the dentist without raising suspicion.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](https://deaneatscake.tumblr.com/)  
> [reblobbable version](https://deaneatscake.tumblr.com/post/166653249383/dean-and-cas-at-the-dentist-2953-words-omg-what)


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